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The Book Of The Grotesque THE
WRITER, an old man with a white mustache, had some difficulty in getting
into bed. The windows of the
house in which he lived were high and he wanted to look at the trees when
he awoke in the morning. A
carpenter came to fix the bed so that it would be on a level with the
window.
Quite
a fuss was made about the matter. The
carpenter, who had been a soldier in the Civil War, came into the writer's
room and sat down to talk of building a platform for the purpose of
raising the bed. The writer
had cigars lying about and the carpenter smoked. For
a time the two men talked of the raising of the bed and then they talked
of other things. The soldier
got on the subject of the war. The
writer, in fact, led him to that subject.
The carpenter had once been a prisoner in Andersonville prison and
had lost a brother. The
brother had died of starvation, and whenever the carpenter got upon that
subject he cried. He, like
the old writer, had a white mustache, and when he cried he puckered up his
lips and the mustache bobbed up and down.
The weeping old man with the cigar in his mouth was ludicrous.
The plan the writer had for the raising of his bed was forgotten
and later the carpenter did it in his own way and the writer, who was past
sixty, had to help himself with a chair when he went to bed at night. |
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In
his bed the writer rolled over on his side and lay quite still.
For years he had been beset with notions concerning his heart.
He was a hard smoker and his heart fluttered.
The idea had got into his mind that he would some time die
unexpectedly and always when he got into bed he thought of that.
It did not alarm him. The
effect in fact was quite a special thing and not easily explained.
It made him more alive, there in bed, than at any other time.
Perfectly still he lay and his body was old and not of much use any more,
but something inside him was altogether young.
He was like a pregnant woman, only that the thing inside him was not
a baby but a youth. No, it
wasn't a youth, it was a woman, young, and wearing a coat of mail like a
knight. It is absurd, you see,
to try to tell what was inside the old writer as he lay on his high bed and
listened to the fluttering of his heart.
The thing to get at is what the writer, or the young thing within the
writer, was thinking about. The
old writer, like all of the people in the world, had got, during his long
fife, a great many notions in his head.
He had once been quite handsome and a number of women had been in
love with him. And then, of course, he had known people, many people, known
them in a peculiarly intimate way that was different from the way in which
you and I know people. At least
that is what the writer thought and the thought pleased him.
Why quarrel with an old man concerning his thoughts? In
the bed the writer had a dream that was not a dream. As he grew somewhat sleepy but was still conscious, figures
began to appear before his eyes. He imagined the young indescribable thing
within himself was driving a long procession of figures before his eyes. You
see the interest in all this lies in the figures that went before the eyes
of the writer. They were all
grotesques. All of the men and
women the writer had ever known had become grotesques. The
grotesques were not all horrible. Some
were amusing, some almost beautiful, and one, a woman all drawn out of
shape, hurt the old man by her grotesqueness.
When she passed he made a noise like a small dog whimpering.
Had you come into the room you might have supposed the old man had
unpleasant dreams or perhaps indigestion. For
an hour the procession of grotesques passed before the eyes of the old man,
and then, although it was a painful thing to do, he crept out of bed and
began to write. Some one of the
grotesques had made a deep impression on his mind and he wanted to describe
it. At
his desk the writer worked for an hour.
In the end he wrote a book which he called "The Book of the
Grotesque." It was never published, but I saw it once and it made an
indelible impression on my mind. The
book had one central thought that is very strange and has always remained
with me. By remembering it I
have been able to understand many people and things that I was never able to
understand before. The thought
was involved but a simple statement of it would be something like this: That
in the beginning when the world was young there were a great many thoughts
but no such thing as a truth. Man
made the truths himself and each truth was a composite of a great many vague
thoughts. All about in the
world were the truths and they were all beautiful. The
old man had listed hundreds of the truths in his book. I will not try to tell you of all of them. There was the
truth of virginity and the truth of passion, the truth of wealth and of
poverty, of thrift and of profligacy, of carelessness and abandon. Hundreds
and hundreds were the truths and they were all beautiful. And
then the people came along. Each
as he appeared snatched up one of the truths and some who were quite strong
snatched up a dozen of them. It
was the truths that made the people grotesques. The old man had quite an
elaborate theory concerning the matter.
It was his notion that the moment one of the people took one of the
truths to himself, called it his truth, and tried to live his life by it, he
became a grotesque and the truth he embraced became a falsehood. You
can see for yourself how the old man, who had spent all of his life writing
and was filled with words, would write hundreds of pages concerning this
matter. The subject would
become so big in his mind that he himself would be in danger of becoming a
grotesque. He didn't, I
suppose, for the same reason that he never published the book.
It was the young thing inside him that saved the old man. Concerning
the old carpenter who fixed the bed for the writer, I only mentioned him
because he, like many of what are called very common people, became the
nearest thing to what is understandable and lovable of all the grotesques in
the writer's book.
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