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The Adventures of Tom Sawyer, by Mark Twain
Chapter VI
MONDAY
morning found Tom Sawyer miserable. Monday morning always found him so --
because it began another week's slow suffering in school. He generally
began that day with wishing he had had no intervening holiday, it made the
going into captivity and fetters again so much more odious.
Tom
lay thinking. Presently it occurred to him that he wished he was sick;
then he could stay home from school. Here was a vague possibility. He
canvassed his system. No ailment was found, and he investigated again.
This time he thought he could detect colicky symptoms, and he began to
encourage them with considerable hope. But they soon grew feeble, and
presently died wholly away. He reflected further. Suddenly he discovered
something. One of his upper front teeth was loose. This was lucky; he was
about to begin to groan, as a "starter," as he called it, when
it occurred to him that if he came into court with that argument, his aunt
would pull it out, and that would hurt. So he thought he would hold the
tooth in reserve for the present, and seek further. Nothing offered for
some little time, and then he remembered hearing the doctor tell about a
certain thing that laid up a patient for two or three weeks and threatened
to make him lose a finger. So the boy eagerly drew his sore toe from under
the sheet and held it up for inspection. But now he did not know the
necessary symptoms. However, it seemed well worth while to chance it, so
he fell to groaning with considerable spirit. But
Sid slept on unconscious. Tom
groaned louder, and fancied that he began to feel pain in the toe. No
result from Sid. Tom
was panting with his exertions by this time. He took a rest and then
swelled himself up and fetched a succession of admirable groans.
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Tom
was aggravated. He said, "Sid, Sid!" and shook him. This course
worked well, and Tom began to groan again. Sid yawned, stretched, then
brought himself up on his elbow with a snort, and began to stare at Tom.
Tom went on groaning. Sid said: "Tom!
Say, Tom!" [No response.] "Here, Tom! TOM! What is the matter,
Tom?" And he shook him and looked in his face anxiously. Tom
moaned out: "Oh,
don't, Sid. Don't joggle me." "Why,
what's the matter, Tom? I must call auntie." "No
-- never mind. It'll be over by and by, maybe. Don't call anybody." "But
I must! DON'T groan so, Tom, it's awful. How long you been this way?"
"Hours.
Ouch! Oh, don't stir so, Sid, you'll kill me." "Tom,
why didn't you wake me sooner ? Oh, Tom, DON'T! It makes my flesh crawl to
hear you. Tom, what is the matter?" "I
forgive you everything, Sid. [Groan.] Everything you've ever done to me.
When I'm gone --" "Oh,
Tom, you ain't dying, are you? Don't, Tom -- oh, don't. Maybe --" "I
forgive everybody, Sid. [Groan.] Tell 'em so, Sid. And Sid, you give my
window-sash and my cat with one eye to that new girl that's come to town,
and tell her --" But
Sid had snatched his clothes and gone. Tom was suffering in reality, now,
so handsomely was his imagination working, and so his groans had gathered
quite a genuine tone. Sid
flew down-stairs and said: "Oh,
Aunt Polly, come! Tom's dying!" "Dying!"
"Yes'm.
Don't wait -- come quick!" "Rubbage!
I don't believe it!" But
she fled up-stairs, nevertheless, with Sid and Mary at her heels. And her
face grew white, too, and her lip trembled. When she reached the bedside
she gasped out: "You,
Tom! Tom, what's the matter with you?" "Oh,
auntie, I'm --" "What's
the matter with you -- what is the matter with you, child?" "Oh,
auntie, my sore toe's mortified!" The
old lady sank down into a chair and laughed a little, then cried a little,
then did both together. This restored her and she said: "Tom,
what a turn you did give me. Now you shut up that nonsense and climb out
of this." The
groans ceased and the pain vanished from the toe. The boy felt a little
foolish, and he said: "Aunt
Polly, it SEEMED mortified, and it hurt so I never minded my tooth at
all." "Your
tooth, indeed! What's the matter with your tooth?" "One
of them's loose, and it aches perfectly awful." "There,
there, now, don't begin that groaning again. Open your mouth. Well -- your
tooth IS loose, but you're not going to die about that. Mary, get me a
silk thread, and a chunk of fire out of the kitchen." Tom
said: "Oh,
please, auntie, don't pull it out. It don't hurt any more. I wish I may
never stir if it does. Please don't, auntie. I don't want to stay home
from school." "Oh,
you don't, don't you? So all this row was because you thought you'd get to
stay home from school and go a-fishing? Tom, Tom, I love you so, and you
seem to try every way you can to break my old heart with your
outrageousness." By this time the dental instruments were ready. The
old lady made one end of the silk thread fast to Tom's tooth with a loop
and tied the other to the bedpost. Then she seized the chunk of fire and
suddenly thrust it almost into the boy's face. The tooth hung dangling by
the bedpost, now. But
all trials bring their compensations. As Tom wended to school after
breakfast, he was the envy of every boy he met because the gap in his
upper row of teeth enabled him to expectorate in a new and admirable way.
He gathered quite a following of lads interested in the exhibition; and
one that had cut his finger and had been a centre of fascination and
homage up to this time, now found himself suddenly without an adherent,
and shorn of his glory. His heart was heavy, and he said with a disdain
which he did not feel that it wasn't anything to spit like Tom Sawyer; but
another boy said, "Sour grapes!" and he wandered away a
dismantled hero. Shortly
Tom came upon the juvenile pariah of the village, Huckleberry Finn, son of
the town drunkard. Huckleberry was cordially hated and dreaded by all the
mothers of the town, because he was idle and lawless and vulgar and bad --
and because all their children admired him so, and delighted in his
forbidden society, and wished they dared to be like him. Tom was like the
rest of the respectable boys, in that he envied Huckleberry his gaudy
outcast condition, and was under strict orders not to play with him. So he
played with him every time he got a chance. Huckleberry was always dressed
in the cast-off clothes of full-grown men, and they were in perennial
bloom and fluttering with rags. His hat was a vast ruin with a wide
crescent lopped out of its brim; his coat, when he wore one, hung nearly
to his heels and had the rearward buttons far down the back; but one
suspender supported his trousers; the seat of the trousers bagged low and
contained nothing, the fringed legs dragged in the dirt when not rolled
up. Huckleberry
came and went, at his own free will. He slept on doorsteps in fine weather
and in empty hogsheads in wet; he did not have to go to school or to
church, or call any being master or obey anybody; he could go fishing or
swimming when and where he chose, and stay as long as it suited him;
nobody forbade him to fight; he could sit up as late as he pleased; he was
always the first boy that went barefoot in the spring and the last to
resume leather in the fall; he never had to wash, nor put on clean
clothes; he could swear wonderfully. In a word, everything that goes to
make life precious that boy had. So thought every harassed, hampered,
respectable boy in St. Petersburg. Tom
hailed the romantic outcast: "Hello,
Huckleberry!" "Hello
yourself, and see how you like it." "What's
that you got?" "Dead
cat." "Lemme
see him, Huck. My, he's pretty stiff. Where'd you get him ?" "Bought
him off'n a boy." "What
did you give?" "I
give a blue ticket and a bladder that I got at the slaughter-house." "Where'd
you get the blue ticket?" "Bought
it off'n Ben Rogers two weeks ago for a hoop-stick." "Say
-- what is dead cats good for, Huck?" "Good
for? Cure warts with." "No!
Is that so? I know something that's better." "I
bet you don't. What is it?" "Why,
spunk-water." "Spunk-water!
I wouldn't give a dern for spunkwater." "You
wouldn't, wouldn't you? D'you ever try it?" "No,
I hain't. But Bob Tanner did." "Who
told you so!" "Why,
he told Jeff Thatcher, and Jeff told Johnny Baker, and Johnny told Jim
Hollis, and Jim told Ben Rogers, and Ben told a nigger, and the nigger
told me. There now!" "Well,
what of it? They'll all lie. Leastways all but the nigger. I don't know
HIM. But I never see a nigger that WOULDN'T lie. Shucks! Now you tell me
how Bob Tanner done it, Huck." "Why,
he took and dipped his hand in a rotten stump where the rain-water
was." "In
the daytime?" "Certainly."
"With
his face to the stump?" "Yes.
Least I reckon so." "Did
he say anything?" "I
don't reckon he did. I don't know." "Aha!
Talk about trying to cure warts with spunkwater such a blame fool way as
that! Why, that ain't a-going to do any good. You got to go all by
yourself, to the middle of the woods, where you know there's a spunk-water
stump, and just as it's midnight you back up against the stump and jam
your hand in and say:
'Barley-corn, barley-corn, injun-meal shorts,
Spunk-water, spunk-water, swaller these warts,' and
then walk away quick, eleven steps, with your eyes shut, and then turn
around three times and walk home without speaking to anybody. Because if
you speak the charm's busted." "Well,
that sounds like a good way; but that ain't the way Bob Tanner done."
"No,
sir, you can bet he didn't, becuz he's the wartiest boy in this town; and
he wouldn't have a wart on him if he'd knowed how to work spunkwater. I've
took off thousands of warts off of my hands that way, Huck. I play with
frogs so much that I've always got considerable many warts. Sometimes I
take 'em off with a bean." "Yes,
bean's good. I've done that." "Have
you? What's your way?" "You
take and split the bean, and cut the wart so as to get some blood, and
then you put the blood on one piece of the bean and take and dig a hole
and bury it 'bout midnight at the crossroads in the dark of the moon, and
then you burn up the rest of the bean. You see that piece that's got the
blood on it will keep drawing and drawing, trying to fetch the other piece
to it, and so that helps the blood to draw the wart, and pretty soon off
she comes." "Yes,
that's it, Huck -- that's it; though when you're burying it if you say
'Down bean; off wart; come no more to bother me!' it's better. That's the
way Joe Harper does, and he's been nearly to Coonville and most
everywheres. But say -- how do you cure 'em with dead cats?" "Why,
you take your cat and go and get in the graveyard 'long about midnight
when somebody that was wicked has been buried; and when it's midnight a
devil will come, or maybe two or three, but you can't see 'em, you can
only hear something like the wind, or maybe hear 'em talk; and when
they're taking that feller away, you heave your cat after 'em and say,
'Devil follow corpse, cat follow devil, warts follow cat, I'm done with
ye!' That'll fetch ANY wart." "Sounds
right. D'you ever try it, Huck?" "No,
but old Mother Hopkins told me." "Well,
I reckon it's so, then. Becuz they say she's a witch." "Say!
Why, Tom, I KNOW she is. She witched pap. Pap says so his own self. He
come along one day, and he see she was a-witching him, so he took up a
rock, and if she hadn't dodged, he'd a got her. Well, that very night he
rolled off'n a shed wher' he was a layin drunk, and broke his arm." "Why,
that's awful. How did he know she was a-witching him?"
"Lord, pap can tell, easy. Pap says when they keep looking at
you right stiddy, they're a-witching you. Specially if they mumble. Becuz
when they mumble they're saying the Lord's Prayer backards." "Say,
Hucky, when you going to try the cat?" "To-night.
I reckon they'll come after old Hoss Williams to-night." "But
they buried him Saturday. Didn't they get him Saturday night?" "Why,
how you talk! How could their charms work till midnight? -- and THEN it's
Sunday. Devils don't slosh around much of a Sunday, I don't reckon." "I
never thought of that. That's so. Lemme go with you?" "Of
course -- if you ain't afeard." "Afeard!
'Tain't likely. Will you meow?" "Yes
-- and you meow back, if you get a chance. Last time, you kep' me
a-meowing around till old Hays went to throwing rocks at me and says 'Dern
that cat!' and so I hove a brick through his window -- but don't you
tell." "I
won't. I couldn't meow that night, becuz auntie was watching me, but I'll
meow this time. Say -- what's that?" "Nothing
but a tick." "Where'd
you get him?" "Out
in the woods." "What'll
you take for him?" "I
don't know. I don't want to sell him." "All
right. It's a mighty small tick, anyway." "Oh,
anybody can run a tick down that don't belong to them. I'm satisfied with
it. It's a good enough tick for me." "Sho,
there's ticks a plenty. I could have a thousand of 'em if I wanted
to." "Well,
why don't you? Becuz you know mighty well you can't. This is a pretty
early tick, I reckon. It's the first one I've seen this year." "Say,
Huck -- I'll give you my tooth for him." "Less
see it." Tom
got out a bit of paper and carefully unrolled it. Huckleberry viewed it
wistfully. The temptation was very strong. At last he said: "Is
it genuwyne?" Tom
lifted his lip and showed the vacancy. "Well,
all right," said Huckleberry, "it's a trade." Tom
enclosed the tick in the percussion-cap box that had lately been the
pinchbug's prison, and the boys separated, each feeling wealthier than
before. When
Tom reached the little isolated frame schoolhouse, he strode in briskly,
with the manner of one who had come with all honest speed. He hung his hat
on a peg and flung himself into his seat with business-like alacrity. The
master, throned on high in his great splint-bottom arm-chair, was dozing,
lulled by the drowsy hum of study. The interruption roused him. "Thomas
Sawyer!" Tom
knew that when his name was pronounced in full, it meant trouble. "Sir!"
"Come
up here. Now, sir, why are you late again, as usual?" Tom
was about to take refuge in a lie, when he saw two long tails of yellow
hair hanging down a back that he recognized by the electric sympathy of
love; and by that form was THE ONLY VACANT PLACE on the girls' side of the
school-house. He instantly said: "I
STOPPED TO TALK WITH HUCKLEBERRY FINN!" The
master's pulse stood still, and he stared helplessly. The buzz of study
ceased. The pupils wondered if this foolhardy boy had lost his mind. The
master said: "You
-- you did what?" "Stopped
to talk with Huckleberry Finn." There
was no mistaking the words. "Thomas
Sawyer, this is the most astounding confession I have ever listened to. No
mere ferule will answer for this offence. Take off your jacket." The
master's arm performed until it was tired and the stock of switches
notably diminished. Then the order followed: "Now,
sir, go and sit with the girls! And let this be a warning to you." The
titter that rippled around the room appeared to abash the boy, but in
reality that result was caused rather more by his worshipful awe of his
unknown idol and the dread pleasure that lay in his high good fortune. He
sat down upon the end of the pine bench and the girl hitched herself away
from him with a toss of her head. Nudges and winks and whispers traversed
the room, but Tom sat still, with his arms upon the long, low desk before
him, and seemed to study his book. By
and by attention ceased from him, and the accustomed school murmur rose
upon the dull air once more. Presently the boy began to steal furtive
glances at the girl. She observed it, "made a mouth" at him and
gave him the back of her head for the space of a minute. When she
cautiously faced around again, a peach lay before her. She thrust it away.
Tom gently put it back. She thrust it away again, but with less animosity.
Tom patiently returned it to its place. Then she let it remain. Tom
scrawled on his slate, "Please take it -- I got more." The girl
glanced at the words, but made no sign. Now the boy began to draw
something on the slate, hiding his work with his left hand. For a time the
girl refused to notice; but her human curiosity presently began to
manifest itself by hardly perceptible signs. The boy worked on, apparently
unconscious. The girl made a sort of noncommittal attempt to see, but the
boy did not betray that he was aware of it. At last she gave in and
hesitatingly whispered: "Let
me see it." Tom
partly uncovered a dismal caricature of a house with two gable ends to it
and a corkscrew of smoke issuing from the chimney. Then the girl's
interest began to fasten itself upon the work and she forgot everything
else. When it was finished, she gazed a moment, then whispered: "It's
nice -- make a man." The
artist erected a man in the front yard, that resembled a derrick. He could
have stepped over the house; but the girl was not hypercritical; she was
satisfied with the monster, and whispered: "It's
a beautiful man -- now make me coming along." Tom
drew an hour-glass with a full moon and straw limbs to it and armed the
spreading fingers with a portentous fan. The girl said: "It's
ever so nice -- I wish I could draw." "It's
easy," whispered Tom, "I'll learn you." "Oh,
will you? When?" "At
noon. Do you go home to dinner?" "I'll
stay if you will." "Good
-- that's a whack. What's your name?" "Becky
Thatcher. What's yours? Oh, I know. It's Thomas Sawyer." "That's
the name they lick me by. I'm Tom when I'm good. You call me Tom, will
you?" "Yes."
Now
Tom began to scrawl something on the slate, hiding the words from the
girl. But she was not backward this time. She begged to see. Tom said: "Oh,
it ain't anything." "Yes
it is." "No
it ain't. You don't want to see." "Yes
I do, indeed I do. Please let me." "You'll
tell." "No
I won't -- deed and deed and double deed won't." "You
won't tell anybody at all? Ever, as long as you live?" "No,
I won't ever tell ANYbody. Now let me." "Oh,
YOU don't want to see!" "Now
that you treat me so, I WILL see." And she put her small hand upon
his and a little scuffle ensued, Tom pretending to resist in earnest but
letting his hand slip by degrees till these words were revealed: "I
LOVE YOU." "Oh,
you bad thing!" And she hit his hand a smart rap, but reddened and
looked pleased, nevertheless. Just
at this juncture the boy felt a slow, fateful grip closing on his ear, and
a steady lifting impulse. In that vise he was borne across the house and
deposited in his own seat, under a peppering fire of giggles from the
whole school. Then the master stood over him during a few awful moments,
and finally moved away to his throne without saying a word. But although
Tom's ear tingled, his heart was jubilant. As
the school quieted down Tom made an honest effort to study, but the
turmoil within him was too great. In turn he took his place in the reading
class and made a botch of it; then in the geography class and turned lakes
into mountains, mountains into rivers, and rivers into continents, till
chaos was come again; then in the spelling class, and got "turned
down," by a succession of mere baby words, till he brought up at the
foot and yielded up the pewter medal which he had worn with ostentation
for months.
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