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I
was beginning to overcome these difficulties when an event occurred which
changed everything.
Just
before the books came, Mr. Gilman had begun to remonstrate with Miss
Sullivan on the ground that I was working too hard, and in spite of my
earnest protestations, he reduced the number of my recitations. At the
beginning we had agreed that I should, if necessary, take five years to
prepare for college, but at the end of the first year the success of my
examinations showed Miss Sullivan, Miss Harbaugh (Mr. Gilman's head
teacher), and one other, that I could without too much effort complete my
preparation in two years more. Mr. Gilman at first agreed to this; but when
my tasks had become somewhat perplexing, he insisted that I was overworked,
and that I should remain at his school three years longer. I did not like
his plan, for I wished to enter college with my class.
On
the seventeenth of November I was not very well, and did not go to school.
Although Miss Sullivan knew that my indisposition was not serious, yet Mr.
Gilman, on hearing of it, declared that I was breaking down and made changes
in my studies which would have rendered it impossible for me to take my
final examinations with my class. In the end the difference of opinion
between Mr. Gilman and Miss Sullivan resulted in my mother's withdrawing my
sister Mildred and me from the Cambridge school.
After
some delay it was arranged that I should continue my studies under a tutor,
Mr. Merton S. Keith, of Cambridge. Miss Sullivan and I spent the rest of the
winter with our friends, the Chamberlins in Wrentham, twenty-five miles from
Boston.
From
February to July, 1898, Mr. Keith came out to Wrentham twice a week, and
taught me algebra, geometry, Greek and Latin. Miss Sullivan interpreted his
instruction.
In
October, 1898, we returned to Boston. For eight months Mr. Keith gave me
lessons five times a week, in periods of about an hour. He explained each
time what I did not understand in the previous lesson, assigned new work,
and took home with him the Greek exercises which I had written during the
week on my typewriter, corrected them fully, and returned them to me.
In
this way my preparation for college went on without interruption. I found it
much easier and pleasanter to be taught by myself than to receive
instruction in class. There was no hurry, no confusion. My tutor had plenty
of time to explain what I did not understand, so I got on faster and did
better work than I ever did in school. I still found more difficulty in
mastering problems in mathematics than I did in any other of my studies. I
wish algebra and geometry had been half as easy as the languages and
literature. But even mathematics Mr. Keith made interesting; he succeeded in
whittling problems small enough to get through my brain. He kept my mind
alert and eager, and trained it to reason clearly, and to seek conclusions
calmly and logically, instead of jumping wildly into space and arriving
nowhere. He was always gentle and forbearing, no matter how dull I might be,
and believe me, my stupidity would often have exhausted the patience of Job.
On
the 29th and 30th of June, 1899, I took my final examinations for Radcliffe
College. The first day I had Elementary Greek and Advanced Latin, and the
second day Geometry, Algebra and Advanced Greek.
The
college authorities did not allow Miss Sullivan to read the examination
papers to me; so Mr. Eugene C. Vining, one of the instructors at the Perkins
Institution for the Blind, was employed to copy the papers for me in
American braille. Mr. Vining was a stranger to me, and could not communicate
with me, except by writing braille. The proctor was also a stranger, and did
not attempt to communicate with me in any way.
The
braille worked well enough in the languages, but when it came to geometry
and algebra, difficulties arose. I was sorely perplexed, and felt
discouraged wasting much precious time, especially in algebra. It is true
that I was familiar with all literary braille in common use in this
country--English, American, and New York Point; but the various signs and
symbols in geometry and algebra in the three systems are very different, and
I had used only the English braille in my algebra.
Two
days before the examinations, Mr. Vining sent me a braille copy of one of
the old Harvard papers in algebra. To my dismay I found that it was in the
American notation. I sat down immediately and wrote to Mr. Vining, asking
him to explain the signs. I received another paper and a table of signs by
return mail, and I set to work to learn the notation. But on the night
before the algebra examination, while I was struggling over some very
complicated examples, I could not tell the combinations of bracket, brace
and radical. Both Mr. Keith and I were distressed and full of forebodings
for the morrow; but we went over to the college a little before the
examination began, and had Mr. Vining explain more fully the American
symbols.
In
geometry my chief difficulty was that I had always been accustomed to read
the propositions in line print, or to have them spelled into my hand; and
somehow, although the propositions were right before me, I found the braille
confusing, and could not fix clearly in my mind what I was reading. But when
I took up algebra I had a harder time still. The signs, which I had so
lately learned, and which I thought I knew, perplexed me. Besides, I could
not see what I wrote on my typewriter. I had always done my work in braille
or in my head. Mr. Keith had relied too much on my ability to solve problems
mentally, and had not trained me to write examination papers. Consequently
my work was painfully slow, and I had to read the examples over and over
before I could form any idea of what I was required to do. Indeed, I am not
sure now that I read all the signs correctly. I found it very hard to keep
my wits about me.
But
I do not blame any one. The administrative board of Radcliffe did not
realize how difficult they were making my examinations, nor did they
understand the peculiar difficulties I had to surmount. But if they
unintentionally placed obstacles in my way, I have the consolation of
knowing that I overcame them all.
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